why 'benefits' is a dirty word

So after a lot of consideration I think I should outline my current situation in the hope that it changes for the better. The is still a taboo about admitting you live on benefits and a fear you will be judged for it.


Back in 2009 I had a lovely little job as assistant manager of a baby boutique, I became pregnant and was over joyed, at 25 and in a 3 year relationship it felt like exactly the right thing to happen. 14 weeks into my pregnancy I was dismissed from my 'lovely' job, by a man who has 3 children and runs a 'family business' the reason for my dismissal...he says being absent, the tribunal court and myself both say discrimination of a pregnant woman. His actions resulted in me losing everything, I spent my hard earned savings buying all the things I needed for my baby, after 6 years living away from home I was back in my Mums box room living out of a suitcase signing on for jobseekers! well don't know about you, but I wouldn't hire a 6month pregnant hippo, so it was both demoralising and terrifying. My relationship with my boyfriend suffered greatly, and the court case hung over my head for over a year. (in that time my case was passed to 3 different lawyers at the law centre! and I was getting phone calls from my ex employers lawyer the day after I gave birth!)
I had grown up in Camden all my life, as had my Dad and most of my family, I was under the massive assumption that the welfare state was there for people like me, who work hard, pay taxes and when we fall on hard times its there to help us back up. This is so far from the truth its laughable.
In 2010 I went to the council, unable to cope with living with my Mum, with a screaming baby in tow I went expecting to be offered housing. I was shot down in flames, the best they could offer was a hostel for an indeterminate amount of time, or the private rental scheme,well it seemed like an easy choice, I could pick a nice flat, and the council would pay my rent or i can sit it out in a hostel with strangers around me trying to me a good new mum. So I picked the private rental scheme, having been told not to be fussy and a pressing need to move I took the first flat I saw. What a mistake! Iv lived in a mouse infested, train track shaking, cold and drafty flat in Finsbury Park, and Iv been here two years.
Now my land lady wants her flat back and I'm at the mercy of Camden Council, I'm not a scrounger, Iv paid my taxes, often too much tax, I like working, I have a dream that one day I will own my own business and BUY a house, but Camden don't care, I'm just a number, and one in a VERY VERY long line of numbers all wanting the same thing.A lot has changed since 2010, the benefit cap now means private rental is not an option for most, you need 8 weeks deposit (your talking £2000+) and you need to find someone who takes DSS, just look on Gumtree or any property sight and most will say, no pets, no smokers no DSS! what the hell are we? are we back to the days of segregation? why am I considered an undesirable tenant when I have a track record for paying my rent yet anyone with some money can live where they can afford. I understand the prejudice, I use to be one of those people who would read the paper and make generalising comments about everyone playing the system. Most people you must just be lazy, or you some how deserve to be in your situation, but the system is set up to make you fail, I live in a flat that if I went back to work full time i couldnt afford, not to mention finding more money for bills, food and childcare, as soon as I go back to work the Council take most of it to cover the rent, leaving me worse off then on benefits, and hardly seeing my son. So I need social housing, unfortunately my choices are even worse then two years ago, I can move back in with my Mum, toddler in tow, my Mum suffers from a lot of medical and mental health issues so I don't want my son to have that experience, or I can go in to a hostel for 5 years minimum(I kid you not, this is what the council told me). How can I provide a stable home for my son, to try and get my life back in to some kind of order when I'm not entitled to live near my family, my roots and my support network. I cant go back to work as I have no childcare in place where I live, I have lost two years to unemployment, and while I have loved ever second of being a full time mum its not a viable option for someone who wants to build a successful and secure future.

thanks for reading, not my usual jolly post but life isnt always delightful.