just call me Ms Invisable

This blog has basically become a bit of a space where I can rant and rave or show off what iv been up to, Iv no idea why I started a blog, other then I was frustrated with the lack of say I had over my own life. For every avenue I pursue I find a wall has been built up. Since early 2010 I have been in search of a job that will fit around my son, I never intended to be a full time mum, or to end up unemployed for 3 years. My son was my choice, my unemployment was not, yet 3 years down the line I'm still fighting the same battle, stuck in the same damn system.
I have had 4 job interviews and 3 job offers, the first one was for a chain of baby shops when my son was less then a year old, I had applied for a sales role, and yet was offered the assistant manager role, fantastic you might say, but with no family local enough to help with the baby, and they suddenly start asking for a 40hour week,  had no choice but to decline the job.The second was for London Zoo as a temp, I did two days work, my son got sick, I forgot to tell the benefits office as I assumed I hadn't earned enough to declare it, and low and behold 4 MONTHS later I'm hauled in for questioning at my local job centre, toddler in tow, and treated like Id killed someone rather then try and earn a living, it wasn't fraud, it was stupidity and a total lack on knowledge of how the system works. The third job was just such terrible hours my son would of had to of lived with someone else to get any level of consistent care...
So I called the job centre, to ask what the system was,because clearly I'm doing it all wrong, do I find child care first,and if so how do I pay for it? or do I find a job first, in which case what do I do about my baby?time and time again I was told, 'you don't have to work until he is 7'...this is terrible, dangerous advice being dished out, no wonder people stay on benefits a lot longer then they ever imagined, how demoralising it is to be told not to bother getting a job, that the state is happy to pay you for 7 years, I don't blame anyone for taking the route when you have a flat you cant afford and child care that would bankrupt you.
 I kept searching for a job because being a full time Mum is great, but what happens in 18months when my son has nursery and I'm starting from the bottom of the pile. Iv become very picky, because why should I never see my son, just to earn minimum wage, which would all go on rent or childcare, how is that being a good mother or a good employee. Work isn't the main problem, my housing is. even when I was earning a good wage (pre motherhood) I could not afford the flat I currently live in, and with the rent massively jumping in my area in the two years Iv lived here I know I couldn't even afford a bedsit on minimum wage now. So what are my options? well I have to get out of private rental, its a trap, it keeps you in poverty because you cant afford to work, it prevents you from working because it doesn't add up, and it is the only option most people are given. So Il be giving it all up, benefits, council subsidised living and the 'safety net' of private rental,don't ask me how, because I don't actually know yet! To the system Im no one, just a number, or a 'claiment', but to my son Im a real person, but right now I feel invisible.